Last week, when the temperature dropped to 2 degrees for a few nights, to my dismay I realized we had no kerosene for an emergency! When I brought this up to my husband, he brushed it off non chalantly and said that it was ok, we wouldn't need it. Me? Couldn't rest until that kerosene can was filled. So the following afternoon I loaded the can up into the car, went to the Marathon station and filled the thing up with 5 gal. of kerosene. Whew, didn't realize how heavy that container would be once it was full! Managed to get it home to the garage with only one minor spill, or drip, or leak, whatever the case was (from not tightening the cap correctly). But the main thing was that I could finally relax and rest assured that if the electric, for some reason shut off, or if the furnace quit running, we would have heat! Albeit just in one room, but heat none of the less. This really got me to thinking.....why the obsessive need to have that kerosene, really?
Here is my take: God made me a wife and mother whom at all costs, have this all consuming need to protect my loved ones. I need to make sure there is food in the house so that they don't grow hungry, I need to make sure that there is warm clothes available when they go out in this sub freezing weather. My kids can all atest to the fact that no matter whether they were traveling to and from college through the winter, taking a trip, or going to work....I made sure they had an emergency kit in the trunk, and a blanket in the backseat. (Trust me, I heard my share of "Oh Mom!"). Even last week, my son in law was taking his family out sledding, and stopped in to use the phone. I couldn't let him leave again, before giving him a scarf and making him promise to wear it around his neck.
Am I the only woman who battles with this? Is this really a battle? You should have seen our pantry the year 1999, before Jan. 2000! Y2K, oh my. And to be brutally honest, I will admit that I've visited the U.S. government Homeland Security web site to know what to have on hand in case of a national disaster. (My basement is not quite a bomb shelter, yet. lol)
And lastly, when we take family vacations, everyone knows that one of my travel bags could be a mini pharmacy. You never know when one may need anything from antacids, to decongestants, or antihistmines or what not, be sure to know I've got it covered!
Is this a sign of not trusting God enough? Is this a sign of not letting go? Or is this behavior just part of the way I am wired and the way God designed me? Most likely it is all of the above. Hopefully I can find a true balance. When it crosses the line to "worry" then I am sinning. Its one thing to be prepared, its another to fret over it. I am reminded of Matthew 6: 26: "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
Hey it's coming down really heavy out there right now and I've only told of few of the kids today to be careful, tried warning hubby to cancel his 2:00 mtg, (to no avail). However, the fridge is full, the house is warm, and the kerosene container in the garage is full, just in case.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, ... The Lord Almighty is with us: Ps 46: 1,2,7
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."
Matt. 6: 33,34
"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet."
Prov. 31: 21
Now and Forever and No Matter What,
Karen
